Sex on a Beach Never a Good Idea

By our Agony Aunt specialising in all sorts of dysfunctions Wilma Proops

He was (possibly still is) a company director and she was (she has since been sacked) a non-taxpaying executive. Michelle Palmer, 36, of Oakham, Rutland, England and Vince Acors, 34, of Bromley, London England met at a pool party and were drinking champagne all day. Their fondness for each other grew and, as some people are likely to do, they retired to a public beach for sexual intercourse on a sun lounger.

Image via Wikipedia Irish Setters tend to jump on and bark at anyone making love in public... this can be very embarrassing for their owners… let me assure you.

Acting like a pair of slags in public is, in the opinion of the writer, not on. It embarrasses anyone who might be passing and, if that passer-by has a mischievous Irish Red Setter off its leash it is even more embarrassing for the dog owner who has to retrieve the barking-mad playfully-attacking dog from on top of the two-backed monster (so to speak). Get a room and analyse your feelings of inadequacy. Digression over!

Acting like the same slags in Dubai is symptomatic of a pair of exhibitionist idiots. This is Dubai where married couples are not allowed, under its laws, to kiss in the street. So, after their prosecution they have been jailed for three months each...  It might sound harsh but this is relatively lucky for them as the maximum sentence for this particular offence is ten years.

Of course, there will be some recompense for the couple once they have finished their sentences and are deported. Don’t the media just love this sort of real life story? With the right adviser – someone like a Max Clifford – they should be able to sell their tale of sex and woe to the gutter press