Reefer Madness

ADVICE TO PARENTS
Watch the Classic Reefer Madness Below

Dear Wilma,

I think my children (now aged 18 and 19) are smoking something they call "bud". Can you offer me any advice?

Worried of Norfolk

Wilma's Reply

Dear Worried of Norfolk,

"Bud" is a modern term for what we used to call "grass" in the 1960s, "weed" in the 1970s and "sh*t" or "herb" in the 1990s. These are all names for marijuana. I cannot condone its use but its not the end of the world and could be worse. Despite what authorities have written about "bud" there are less deaths caused by its use than tobacco or alcohol, in fact hardly any. Modern research suggests that it does not lead to harder drugs. Ten out of my twelve children have smoked it and they grew out of it all but three - they live in Holland now (The Hague). That said, modern "bud" is often Genetically Modified (GM) and so I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Don't make a big deal out of it as major protests about anything they do at their age can produce the behaviour you warn against.




There are many myths surrounding its use but it is illegal in the UK. To do some research I suggest you go to Amsterdam where you can try it for yourself and/or observe the effects it has on smokers.

I have added this video for you to watch. It is totally absurd but very funny. It was a Public Information Film made in 1936 to warn the American public. If you go to Amsterdam you'll see nothing like what's shown in this film because it is ridiculous - more like comedy, hence its inclusion here!

Do write and let me know if you find any good hotels in Amsterdam as I'm planning a visit in the near future. I simply adore the Van Gogh Museum, especially after after lunch in a Amsterdam cafe!

Why is Everybody Always Picking on Me?

Why is Everybody Always Picking on Me?

Dear Wilma,
Why can't I just keep my mouth shut and let people be? Why do I always have to stand up to bullies? Why do other people exist happily on the fence? Why do people (particularly men) feel they can order me about? Why can't I just do as I'm told?
Please help!
Katrina Narked

WILMA'S REPLY

Dear Katrina,

You think you have a problem but let me assure you, YOU DON'T! It's them that have the problem, not you. In fact, you remind me of myself!

1) Do you really want to be a boring twonk? 2) Do you really want to stay quiet and not tell people what you think? 3) Do you really want bullies (idiots and the incorrect) to go unnoticed? 4) Shall I tell you how you should answer - in the order I posed these questions?

1) NO 2) NO 3) NO 4) YES

As for sitting on the fence, allow me to quote my close friend, client and confidante Al (Sir Alan Sugar to everybody else - including his wife):

• "You sit on the fence any longer and you're gonna get an arse ache!"

Now, as for men telling you what to do. NEVER, repeat NEVER, do as they tell you to do unless it is exactly what you want to do. As a woman, it is your duty not to do as they tell you because this can lead to disaster. Look what happened to Tony Blair! Cherrie (you know the woman who looks like she's a piano stuck in her gob, the one who wrote that book about oral sex called Jaws II and was responsible for more penis amputations than I care to mention - joke) Tony Bliar's wife started to do what Tony told her after Tony became Prime Minister. I'm afraid to say and History will show that this tipped him over the edge and was the final straw, responsible for taking Blighty to war!

Katrina, Sweetheart, you can't do as you're told because you are a free spirit. So cheer up and get on with it.

By the way, can I congratulate you on your latest articles? Thanks for your permission to do so. They are simply excellent - here are the links to them for ALL my readers:

Banksy's Real Identity

Why Supremacists are NOT Supreme

Where to Buy Nike Jeans

Avoid Being a Desk Job Slob

Sexy Johnny Depp

Eminem's Bum and Balls

Don't Forget to Visit Wilma's Video Bar