About the Infamous Wilma Proops
Wilma Proops came the the attention of the world when pictures of her bare arse were plastered on the front cover of gutter-press and broadsheets alike. Our heroine had been on a desperate mission to advice David Blaine that he was a nincompoop, was unfortunately quite drunk and tripped over while on top of Blaine's Perspex box, above the River Thames in London, England. That Wilma had made it that far is surely symptomatic of her passion for advising people . . . Read more about Wilma Proop's below this blog . . .
This week I have had several letters from people working for “stupid” or “rude” or “inadequate” bosses. They want to know how to deal with them. As you know, dear readers, I am from Liverpool and we don’t pussy-foot around issues to do with bad bosses in Liverpool – we get ‘em! We know our rights. In addition, me and the girls have worked for all manner of stupid, rude and inadequate bosses and there isn’t a boss we’ve met yet that we haven’t taught a good lesson in acceptable people management or in minimum Health and Safety requirements. This is the first letter of this batch I will answer here because I think its writer needs help quick!
A Reader Writes:
I work for a magazine selling advertising and I’ve been in the job for nearly six months. Following a most disagreeable incident(caused by being in need of the toilet facilities for 20 minutes because they were engaged by a person with disgusting habits)I complained to my boss about the inadequate toilet conditions (1 toilet for 11 + miscellaneous builders). Following my complaint, my boss invited me to a disciplinary meeting. I'm afraid I lost my temper in the meeting and when he shouted at me I shouted back at him. Also, although the company depends on telephones to make sales he forgot to pay the telephone bill. When the phone is working I often take calls from the printers, who have not been paid. Also, he recently promoted a talentless creep above me. What should I do?
Firstly be in no doubt that you are working for an idiot! Assurance of this often helps people in your situation. Don’t worry about the disciplinary, although he is an idiot he’s bound to know or discover that the current toilet situation in your place of work is below the legal minimum and he could be closed down for employing staff in those conditions. If he does discipline you, you’ll be able to take him to the cleaners – I hope you have witnesses to the distress he caused you.
Now the fun part – revenge! He needs to know why toilet conditions are important in a place of work. Would you be able to dose him unknowingly with strong laxatives? After you (or a helpful colleague) have done so, wait ten minutes and then occupy the only toilet. With any luck he’ll shit himself in the office and learn a valuable lesson.
Lastly, I would be ready for your boss to dispense with your services – he sounds like a real sneak so he’ll probably do it on the last day of your six months probation. Be ready for it. I see you sell advertising – remember to take copies of the contact details of all advertisers as you never know they may come in useful. Learn something from your experience – if he can run a company I’m in no doubt you could too. The best way to deal with stupid bosses is to leave them – remember, as one door closes another opens – why don’t you just tell your boss to f*ck off? He sounds like a right prat!
Let me know what happens,
* I'll be answering more letters about how to cope with stupid, rude and inadequate bosses soon - please check back. To contact me with your problems please do so via my page on www.ComedyMoment.co.uk