WILMA PROOPS' BACKGROUND
Wilma Proops came the the attention of the world when pictures of her bare arse were plastered on the front cover of gutter-press and broadsheets alike. Our heroine had been on a desperate mission to advice David Blaine that he was a nincompoop, was unfortunately quite drunk and tripped over while on top of Blaine's Perspex box, above the River Thames in London, England. That Wilma had made it that far is surely symptomatic of her passion for advising people . . . Read more about Wilma Proop's below this blog . . .
WILMA WRITES:
Dear Avid Readers,
I have decided that you can confess bad things you've done in the past of a comedy nature. We all go though phases of "flashing and trashing" and although they seem right at the time, later in life you may come to regret them. Write to me with details of where, when and how you flashed or of when and what you trashed and I'll tell you what to do to absolve yourself of the guilt. This service is especially of interest to lapsed Catholics who no longer do confession - please point them in your Auntie Wilma's direction.
Just leave an anonymous comment (including your confession) in the comments section below. Please Note: Obscene comments will not be published so don't bother You Know Who of You Know Where
A READER THOUGHT HE HAD NO PROBLEMS!
Dear Auntie Wilma,
My problem is I don't have any problems. Everything I wanted in the past I now have and more. People with problems are totally stupid. If you've got a problem - sort it! Don't moan, nag and go on about it. Don't write to the likes of you - shut your gobs.
Neal, Birmingham
WILMA REPLIES:
Dear Neal,
I hate to be the one to tell you but you have got problems, big problems. Where can I begin?
You're boring, arrogant, nasty and selfish. You're given to boasting, bragging and putting others down. Also, I know where you live.
So you see Dear, you might not have had any problems yesterday but you have now, you lowly gobshite.
I hope this has brought you down a peg or two - someone had to tell you,
Yours truly
Auntie Wilma
Aunt Agony Advises Problem Pages Throughout The Ages
Dearest Wilma Proops,
ReplyDeleteI know someone very similar to Neal in your letter. Can you divulge more about him? Thanks for telling him what a prick he is - I can see why you maintain that many a trie word is spoke in jest.
Deidre Langton
Manchester
well i fancy this boy but i hate him aslo but im not allowed to date and i dont want to date but wen i see him i stragly start to flirt but i never want to flirt and wen hes flirting with other girls i get jeaulous biut i restain myself from being jeasus and show off even more and i dont like shwoing off loads of perosnal friends of mine have noticesd that he sometimes flirts with me but when they say that i get angry im so confused but i hate being confused!
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